Di nishtikeh megileh

God help us if we start to dream of Esther.

What Itzik warned us of is true today.
A savior’s bad enough, but one like this,
Who wins the day by–can I even say it?–
She’s pimped out by her uncle Mordechai!
Hey Mordkeleh, that’s not a thing we do.
You’re not a hero. This is not your story.

There’s something else that’s wrong with Esther, though,
And Moses too, long as we’re dissing saints:
What makes us think they would have fought for us?

Esther would have survived, her uncle too,
By being pals with King Ahashverosh.
Trusted advisers in his palace, just
The voice of reason Persia needs today.

No clever Haman would have harmed a hair
Upon their royally beloved heads.
And do you really think they would have risked
All that to save more Jews than just their friends?

So, barring miracles, let’s not pretend
Evil’s lieutenant might become a friend.

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